dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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