I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
