My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
