About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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