it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
