when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
