I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I could make wine with my vomit
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
