I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize