Who did Billy Mays play for?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
