Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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