You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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