is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
