I hate all girls vehemently.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
