i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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