Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
