if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
