You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
