I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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