All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
