sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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