Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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