Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
