the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
