I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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