I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
