"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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