the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
