Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
