im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
