Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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