Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize