I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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