I wanna passion pit in your ass
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
you never un-have a 4some
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
