Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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