You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
