Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
