You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
