Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
