i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
