did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
