Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
