I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
