i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
