Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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