ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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