honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
