i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
