its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
