i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
