I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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