wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
