so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
