Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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