As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
