u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My nipple is on Facebook.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
