Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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