i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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