i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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