I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
