dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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