I have demons in me.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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