glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
