The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
