Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
