Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
