She's like a pop up book from hell.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
