I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
